with Lindsay Rocke


In our lives, especially in Western society, we tend to focus our time and energy on making our lives look beautiful on the outside. We focus on making our appearances look beautiful; our face, our hair, our bodies. We spend time and energy making our surroundings look beautiful; our homes, our gardens, our environment…

When we are trying to fulfil our inner happiness solely through focusing on the outside, it can be a never-ending journey. 

We very often attach our happiness to ‘things’, and feel when we get a certain thing, i.e: a new outfit, a new car, a new phone… THEN we will be happy.  Although this experience of feeling ‘happy’, because of our new thing, can initially feel intense, it is often short lived. This is known as ‘object based happiness’.

When we think in this way, we are doing 3 things:

1/ We are putting our happiness out there in the future. How can we feel happy right here now, if we have told ourselves we will be happy once we reach that thing in the future?!

2/ We are often putting our happiness on something that is ever changing, or out of our control, so subconsciously we feel powerless.

3/ When we get to that thing, we don’t feel the ‘sustainable long-lasting happiness’ we are looking for, and so we start looking for the next thing!  It’s a never ending hamster wheel of trying to fulfil our happiness with ‘the next thing!’…especially with ‘object based happiness’.